Floating Flowerless Parade

Dutch translation

The floating flower parade. It used to be a majestic spectacle of brightly colored flowers proudly taking center stage among the dancing majorettes on the boats, gliding like a true symphony of natural beauty through the narrow rivers.

But that was back in the day! Up until 2017, to be exact; after that, it became more of a floating flowerless parade. Flower-less. Practically.

Back then, the boats were so overloaded with flowers that you almost thought you were hallucinating after eating a spoiled cheese platter.

It was an ocean of roses, tulips, and sunflowers that made you believe you had landed in a romantic comedy directed by a gardener high on flower fertilizer.

But now?

Now it’s more of a melancholic journey of one and a half tulips that are just barely not wilted, but that was probably because it was freezing cold and mostly reminded you of the flower section of a sad gas station somewhere in a forgotten polder.

It must be due to the lack of interest, as fewer and fewer people line the sides each year, and the youth of today doesn’t really know what a flower is, let alone what to do with one, so yeah, why would you organize a huge floating flower festival?

So yeah, if you still plan to go to the floating flower parade, don’t forget to bring your binoculars. Not to see the flowers better, but to find them at all.

But other than that, mom had a great time, and we could keep ourselves busy with the restaurant staff who, instead of serving us three vegan tomato soups, brought us four non-vegan tomato soups with cream in them. You know, that white stuff that comes from a cow and is not vegan and can cause dangerous scenes if consumed by someone with a cow’s milk allergy.